yo, that's wack if i'm not the baddest

*profile old * mail * fucking sign it * or how about a nice note?**	you go forward / i'll go backwards
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i feel sick. i cant feel anything right now. i'm numbed, slipping into a coma. what is a big deal to me doesnt mean anything to the rest of the world. i'm nothing important, if its possible, i've become somewhat less significant. everyone has been let down by me once or more. i cried. i didnt like the way i looked when i cried so i stopped. i ate some chips. i watched some tv. i drank some beer, i cried some more. i skipped school for three days in a row. the school called. everyone is "very worried". i'm an idiot. i'm not who i used to be at all. i was great. i was funny and intelligent and maybe i even liked myself. now i dont know what the fuck i'm doing. i wont make anything of this life. i can see it now. i'm a waster and no matter how hard i try, it wont amount to anything. i have wasted sixteen years. those years should have gone to someone with aids or some nice old lady's cat. they shouldnt have gone to a whiney girl who would be so emotional. i dont feel sorry. i just want to understand what part of me is dead and when it died. i have had a lot of good things happen to me. i've been lucky. i am stuck. i am not anything. i am quiet. i am antisocial. i am dull. i should have a long time ago. everyone is smarter than me. i cant write. i cant play piano. everyone is happy. everyone is happy except me. i am abnormal and ugly.

d-land