yo, that's wack if i'm not the baddest


profile * old * mail * fucking sign it* or how about a nice note? you go forward / i'll go backwards


i went to the vet today. he's at the end of his rope for my beautiful orange tuxedo cat. momar has been here every day of my life, seventeen years of purring and begging at the dinner table. i started shaking uncontrolably when he said that i needed to think about burial options during the night and come back in the morning. i cried and cried and he appologized for not having any tissues and momar's old head peered out at me from under the towel, saying it was okay. i wish i could make him understand that i've scheduled his life away.

everyone says 'at least he didnt suffer' after anyone dies in my life. i'm so tired of it. i'm tired of caring so fucking much about other people and yet no one ever calls me to see if i'm okay or when things happen, it seems like everyone leaves me, forgets me. people dont write back, or call. i'm not bitter, i'm just so sad and tired. tomorrow i'll hold my baby while the doctor tells me it only takes a few seconds and its painless, he'll fall asleep and no matter how hard i try, he wont wake up.

d-land