yo, that's wack if i'm not the baddest


profile * old * mail * fucking sign it* or how about a nice note? you go forward / i'll go backwards


jeremy says that i need to start hanging out with kids my own age. he asks me if i'm sad that if i stay with him, i will be missing out on running across slimey lawns with barefeet and enjoying blink 182 in a ford escort, i nod no no no. i put on my velvet pants and watch maury while he shaves and looks around for a baseball cap. we eat thai downtown and i smile a lot. his best friend is fucking some loser in a hotel room down the street when we call from the lobby. she buzzes us in just as the loser is scurrying out. jeremy purposely bumps into him, its awkward and he knows it after and appologizes. i laugh and he squints with a fake mean face. terry has had chocolate dipped strawberries delivered to the room. she says that its so nice without her parents in the other room. jeremy laughs a little and i try to throw a strawberry in his mouth, it hits his cheeks and falls onto his lap. terry offers to get it and i feel nervous, jeremy smiles and says no. i feel in love. and he says save it for later. ha ha ha. i feel so safe and nice anyway in his old sweatshirt that smells like parliaments and listerine, finding little wrappers and pennies in the pockets. his glasses constantly fall down his nose, i reach over and push them back. terry offers us the room, we say okay. neither of us is in the mood for fucking, terry goes away and we watch 'texas chainsaw massacre 2' with renee zellwegger or whatever. he says she's hot with glasses and i agree. terry returns an hour later with a bottle of rum and a bottle of pepsi, she offers us a drink, i cant refuse. i get drunk and makeout with terry and her gorgeous accent and clothes. we open the minibar up and do shots. next she puts on the radio, top 40 and nelly furtado starts playing. she's unzipping jeremys pants and pushing him back onto the bed, i start crying hysterically, in a drunk heap at the marriot. she's being so terrible seductive, i want to vomit or scream. its all surreal and i run out the door, with smeared makeup and a stolen bathrobe. her brother is on the outside, searching for terry, wondering if she's allright and he takes me in the bathroom and cleans up my face and fixes lines on his pocket mirror, i snort and get a nose bleed almost instantly. he looks pissed about the blood on his shirt and i cry harder, convulsing. he asks me what room terry is in because they wouldnt tell him at the front desk. i crawl into the cabinet under the sink, amongst rolls of toilet paper, drooling and feeling high and low at the same time. i saw a movie once where a girls eyes popped out of her head, i think, and she lost them and they couldnt locate a new set for her. holding my eyes in became my main concern. jeremy came in, calling me, then using the urinal, then calling me again. he heard me sob, he is 28 and i, i am 17.
d-land