he looks around for a towel to take a shower. its raining lightly and it is still dark. he stumbles over furniture and his voice comes out too deep when he apologizes. i turn on the light and wait for my eyes to adjust.

we snuck off for the weekend. i lied and said i was going to a friends and he drove an hour from work to get here tonight. his face was stiff from crying when he came up the stairs with a six pack under his arm. we didnt say anything all night, we just sat in the dark staring at vague outlines.

i cant breathe when he's crying. its the most beautiful thing ive ever seen. its like he is breathing for the entire universe. the night is so so cold and the bugs and frogs wont stop their noises.

everything is broken here. theres no point in trying to shower, its falling apart. i feel dead and useless without any sleep and i beg him to lay back down on the carpet, even though i'm frightened of whats lurking in it. i wish so bad we had heat. there's a breeze coming through and i let out a weak cough.